season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
