even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
did i just pee glitter
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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