Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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