Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
