weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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