I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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