what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I met the friendliest cop last night
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
