nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
