Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
