she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize