There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
