he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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