Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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