Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
