My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize