so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
