the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Two words: blizzard sex
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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