I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
