When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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