Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
