Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
