yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
