I wannas sexs uuuuu
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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