I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
