I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
