In America we eat man semen.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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