do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
