hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
