I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
