I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize