Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
