i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
