I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
