My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
