Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
