just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
