have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
