cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
