watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
