I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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