If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
