we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
