Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
