im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
