Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
