Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
