Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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