FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
