well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They took my balls.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize