porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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