I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
