had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
