Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
porn star boner night. come get it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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