chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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