Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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