I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
