He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize