I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize