But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
