I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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