It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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