margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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