I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
