I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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