just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
