Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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