Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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