I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
