I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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