i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize