also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This is my gift to your gina
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
