Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize